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Manipulation Hates Boundaries (The Control Factor)

Is there anything worse than trying to get along with a manipulative person? What do I mean? If you are not always on your guard then you will be overcome.

By Brian L. Johnson

Family Affair

What took me years to understand that continuing to associate with toxic people will become mental, now they are in your mind. Mental Health, there are different forms, let’s look at this angle. “I ain’t going to let no one worry me or get next to me.” We all say that but what if it was someone you considered a true friend or even family member. 

Have you ever been to the point that you don’t want to be around people because the energy is weird.  Seems like a person is trying to stand in your shoes, but at the same time criticizing and devaluing you along the way. While thinking you are not aware. You never set boundaries with this person, you never had a reason to, you trusted them. 

So, when you finally start to notice this behavior that has been going on, now you address it, meaning you challenge or disagree. And, If they are manipulative, normally they can’t or will not take your reasoning or opinion well, when you do. The odds begin, whether light or harsh. 

Here is what I’ve experienced below:

No Contact; Distancing – A lot of times, to protect your mental health, you no longer want that energy so you go no contact. You begin to distant yourself.

Trickery; Somewhat agreeing with you – This is when they know you are on to them, so they love bomb with these new ideas you have of them, this is actually a tactic to reel you back in to their control to get you to get ride of the new beliefs you have about them.

Calling you crazy and leveling you up; Guilt Trip – What you saying or remembering is wrong, you are a liar, you did that not them. Just to make you feel like you are out of it. Psychopathy to a point that makes your head spin. Even saying what you did to them is way worse. If not careful, they will have you believing that you are just as worse as them. Now, you begin to doubt yourself, making you feel guilty

Character Assassination; (tryna hurt my name)The moment you put a stop to people taking advantage of you and disrespecting your emotional, mental, or psychological health is when they define you as difficult, selfish and crazy. Again, manipulation hates boundaries.

The most important thing about the above is if you are not careful and have to be around or associated with these people on a regular basis, this will wash, rinse, repeat; causing you to be highly engaged and affecting you mentally. Bringing you to their level. Misery loves company is one way to see it. 

I wanted to hit on this topic in the since that “manipulation hates boundaries”. The moment you set boundaries, is the moment when people begin to have issues with you.

If you can think back to your childhood and see folks for who they are, it will all come clear to you. 

This seems crazy but I appeared to be losing friendship with all people. When you go through life and hide what bothers you to most is a true status of trauma is getting the best of you.  

One of the things that I think that damages folk is the fact that dealing with trauma can damage relationships.